YOU GOT THIS
You're taking the right steps to help navigate one of the most complicated things you'll face: losing someone. The goal of Calmer Waters is to equip you with the tools and resources to support you throughout this rollercoaster that you didn't buy a ticket for. It sucks. You're not alone. You may not believe it now, but you can and will come out of this stronger.
ABOUT CALMER WATERS
Calmer Waters aims to alleviate the burden placed on family members before, during, and after a loss. What sets it apart is that support begins well ahead of the actual loss, and continues beyond the loss event.
Grief is complex and frequently misinterpreted, with unrealistic expectations tied to it. Family members dealing with the many challenges of loss are often overlooked.
Calmer Waters prioritizes the well-being and healing of those facing loss, providing a comprehensive resource for connections, services, and a safe environment for open discussions.
the why
In 2021, I lost my Mom to metastatic breast cancer after nearly 20 years of being cancer-free. When there was nothing else they could do for my Mom, within minutes we felt pressured to use hospital hospice care, and were made to feel like that was our only option. Fortunately, we knew better and I had already arranged for private hospice (covered by insurance!) and my Mom's final weeks were beautiful. It was a gift that wouldn't' have been possible without being empowered with information and resources.
This got me thinking... how many people don't know they have alternatives? What else don't people know that could help them with all of the nuances that go along with the impending loss of someone? All of these thoughts and what-if's called me to action with a strong desire to help people navigate through these uncertain, stressful, emotionally and physically draining times.
While I know I can't take all of the waves away, I strive to help calm them and unburden you so you can focus on you and your loved one.
what would you say you do here?
Let's get tactical.
When you're facing the potential loss of someone, a whirlwind of thoughts can flood your mind. You might even be completely numb and unable to think at all. But eventually, your mind may start to awaken, prompting questions like: "What will happen when they are gone?" "Will they be cremated or buried?" "How will I cope?" "Will I forget their voice?" "How can I support my family members?" This is incredibly difficult, and it's only the beginning.
You'll soon realize there’s a lot more to manage, such as obtaining copies of their health directive (or getting one in place if one doesn't exist), arranging for mail forwarding, organizing child and pet care, coordinating cleaning services, and handling hospice and nursing arrangements. These are all things you shouldn't have to worry about while dealing with anticipated loss. Below is a small sampling of some of the questions we may ask you to help guide you through the process, allowing you more time to focus on spending time with your loved one.
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What is your relationship to the person who is facing this?
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Do you live in the same state as your person?
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Do you have a child?
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Do you have a pet?
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What is your family member's financial situation and how are you impacted?
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What other family members are involved, if any?
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Does your loved one have a health directive?
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Who is the health advocate?
The above just scratches the surface. The important thing to know is that you don't need to do this alone. I'm sorry that you're here because it means you're in pain. You're going to be ok, and I'm here to help!
What's the plan?
FIrst, i WANT to talk to you
I will curate and develop this site by incorporating not just my own experiences, but those of others. Soon, you'll find useful resources, tools, and tactical planning materials to help lighten your load. Right now, I want to use what I've learned personally to walk with you wherever you're at and take some things off your plate.
If you're interested in engaging in conversations about how we can help you navigate your current situation, please fill out the form below. We look forward to connecting with you!