we'll meet you where you're at
Whether you're starting to anticipate the loss of a loved one, have already experienced it or are somewhere in between, we're here to support you. Explore the various phases of loss below to arm yourself with information and regain a sense of control during this period of time that feels anything but controllable.
Anticipated
loss
too close for comfort
it's
done
i have to do what now?
reality
hits
Nope, this isn't happening
Well, sh*t. A lot of swear words and "why's" are probably happening right now.
A lot of denial. A lot of "this isn't fair" (it's not). A lot of "if only..." and a lot of "why them?"
A lot of sleepness nights and Googling / WebMD'ing (don't do it!)
Whether the prognosis, official or assumed, is weeks, months or years, it is an indescribable gut punch.
Let's be real: this is when grieving starts, which is often overlooked.
Ok, this is getting too real.
Whatever denial you may have been in, there's no way to ignore that now. You're facing a raw reality, and it's scary.
You wonder what's going to happen physically and emotionally to your person: will they be comfortable? Will they be scared?
You start having conversations with care providers that you never imagined having, and you become a nurse overnight.
You question if you can handle it (you can).
You might even try to predict timing (spoiler alert: you can't).
They're gone.
This event often receives the most attention as it represents the final punctuation mark in a person's life.
You may have been grieving already in anticipation of this event. For others, this phase could be sudden and tragic.
Grief is complex and unique to every individual. There is no one-size-fits-all guide.
It can't be denied, however, that this is a turning point in the lives of everyone affected due the finality of it all.
Ah, the post-death fog.
You struggle to recall what you said moments ago, whether or not you've eaten, and overall, your memory seems to have gone "poof". Welcome to the zombie club.
While this is a natural and expected survival response, there are many unpleasant tasks that still need to be handled, and you probably share part or all of that responsibility.
The good news is someone can do those things for you so you can begin grieving in a healthy way that makes your well-being a priority.
They can't really be gone
After the fog lifts, you may want to close your eyes because you're not ready to accept your reality.
You tackle the year of firsts: first birthday without them.... first holiday without them... first time you called them and they didn't answer.
You also might catch yourself smiling more and genuinely laughing, only to feel guilty about that. Don't.
This can be a pivotal period of growth and reflection if you allow it to be.